Paper or Plastic?
Posted: Monday, January 04, 2010
by MJNewell
No, not your local grocery store, I was recently subjected to this question at a local funeral home. It seems that a few of our funeral parlors are using recycled plastic containers as vaults. I was told that a plastic vault would last years longer than a cement vault. And the casket of choice now is a cremation box, either cardboard or pressed fiberboard covered in cloth or paper.
I recently made arrangements for a family member that had been diagnosed as terminally ill.
I cashed in my life insurance to pay for this funeral and met with a local funeral director. At that time he told me, a cement vault, a pine casket, no embalming , the station wagon instead of the hearse to save money, a graveside service, no viewing of the body. He told me he would add a stone free of charge as he had “used “ stones that could be flipped over and written on the other side. I never was given the option of looking at caskets, either in a book or personally. I signed a paper for the money involved and he told me that the arrangements we had discussed would never change due to the fact that I had prepaid for the funeral. ( I did not receive a receipt of the items we discussed… which is required by law I found out later.) About six weeks later, my relative died and I called the Funeral Home to ascertain the time of funeral, etc. The funeral Director stated he didn’t recall any of our prior discussions. I told him I had a paper for the money I had given him. He asked me to bring it in and we met to arrange the burial.. He stated he vaguely remembered something about me cashing in my life insurance but could not find any paperwork on the particulars we had discussed. He said they were using plastic vaults now, not cement, and cloth covered fiberboard or corrugated cardboard caskets.
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I had been assured that our prior arrangements would be honored. I had brought a set of clothes to dress the deceased in ..I doubt they were ever put on the deceased. There was no longer a feeling of trust with this person.
I left in a confused state of mind. The next day my daughter called and asked him what about the cement vault and pine casket I had been promised in our original discussion?
He said he had no recollection of ever discussing this and that a cement vault could not be put in that gravesite as it would be too difficult for the truck to get in there. (My Mother was buried there last year and she was supposed to have a cement vault…now I wonder if she did?) He never called to discuss this with me, and I had no idea what to expect when I arrived for the funeral.
I watched in horror as they pulled a wobbly blue cloth covered box from the back of the station wagon and began the trip to the gravesite. The top of the container kept popping up and the funeral director would reach out and slap it down. I feared the container would break apart as they carried it thru the cemetery. It was not very sturdy and it was very cheap looking. I asked the funeral director what the casket was made of and he said it was pressed fiberboard, covered in blue cloth. And when I pointed out the black item sitting in the cemetery and he said that it was the plastic lid for the plastic vault. We had the service and left the cemetery.
The following Monday I called the funeral home and got the answering service. I asked for an itemized list of the funeral expenses as I had never received one. I was told they were on vacation.
I called several funeral homes during the next week for prices and inquired about plastic vaults.
The consensus of many of the funeral homes is that plastic vaults do not stand up well in our Maine weather extremes. They crack, shatter and cave in ..Many funeral homes told me they do not use plastic. And I was told after describing the casket my relative was buried in that it was a “cremation" casket, used to carry the body to the crematorium.
I was also told by several funeral homes that for the amount of money I paid, I should have had a very nice funeral, with a viewing and service inside. And a regular casket with a cement vault. I was also told that I should have been able to select a casket, and by law should have received a list of the items purchased at the time I made the original arrangement.
Many of our local funeral homes are being sold and the name remains the same, but different owners, often times several local funeral homes are owned by the same outfit. (I know of four local funeral parlors in my area alone that have been purchased and are now being run by the same group of people, but the original names of the funeral homes remain the same as they have for many, many years. ) Years of family ownership that local people have come to trust and rely on is being eroded by shoddy practices by these unscrupulous new owners. I know, I was subjected to this fraudulent practice.
I was unaware of just how much a grieving person could be taken advantage of. I trusted that my wishes would be carried out and the deal we had made honored. It was not so.
The funeral director made his own arrangements, completely ignored my concerns and replaced our original agreement with shoddy second-rate materials. My relative received a pauper’s funeral, the cheapest funeral possible. I know, I asked what the cheapest funeral would cost and what it would entail. And it cost much less than what I had paid.
In times of grief we are all vulnerable, and are subject to deceptive practices just like in the story I have told. No one likes to think that the person handling the remains of their loved one is less than honorable, that they will stoop to dishonesty, but it happens .. And it happens because we are so vulnerable. Greed is the motivation of many and it is alive and well in the funeral business.
We all need to be better prepared and know what to expect when we are in this situation .
We need to know what our rights are and what is legal.
An itemized list is mandated by law.
Prior arrangements are to be honored and a list given when the paperwork is signed. ( and it so states in the contract) Make sure you or someone views the body before burial to make sure the clothes have been placed on the deceased.
Speak up if the funeral director changes the plan. You have the right.
Inquire at other funeral parlors , get a better idea of costs and plans for comparison.
Report any deceptive practices to the Attorney General. They have a specific licensing office to handle these complaints.
Not all funeral homes are alike…Not all funeral homes are dishonest.
But there are some that are unscrupulous and you should be aware what to watch out for, and what your legal rights are. . I hope this story will help when some else is expected to make arrangements for their loved one.
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